Nice Try, BUT, You Forgot a Few Things

I read all of the rumors for the last few weeks about the funny looking Nano, the iPhone 2, and every other thing. I secretly hoped that I would get what the iPhone made me really want. A world class Portable Media / PDA / Internet Tablet all in one. (NO PHONE, I hate the idea of that thing as a phone!)

Well what did the sultan of the mock-T give me? The Finger A big, beautiful touch screen iPod that is just about useless as a Portable Media Device. The PDA part is pretty close to what I wanted and the Internet Tablet is still a “Walled Garden” of Safari disappointment.

So now, I have the need for MORE capacity and I’m given LESS. All to say that it is thinner than Nicole Richie after she refunds her lunch.

Useless Portable Media Device? How can that be, it’s an iPod, and you almost tried to marry your current iPod? Well, here it is; The thing only has 16 gigs of storage. My third generation, black and white, music only iPod had 40 gigs back in 2003. Now, this thing has that gorgeous, huge screen that cries out for two things: High Quality Video and Lucious Photos. What do those two things have in common - You guessed it, BIG FILE SIZE. So now, I have the need for MORE capacity and I’m given LESS. All to say that it is thinner than Nicole Richie after she refunds her lunch. Was anyone’s iPod Video just way too fat? I don’t know, mine seems perfect. I’d even settle for a few more millimeters if they were packed with Songs, Movies, Photos, and Useful Applications.

Useful Applications, let’s talk about that for a minute. You really don’t need that much storage for applications, because YOU STILL CAN”T LOAD ANY REAL SOFTWARE onto this miracle of modern technology. So now I have a Ferarri that is not allowed to drive on the highway. Thanks! Open up the damn platform and let me put some cool software on the thing. It could be like a Palm Pilot with an attractive interface.

Another thing that I would allow a few more millimeters of girth for is GPS. It fits in the tiniest of cell phones, how much room could it take up? That would be great, plop it up on the dashboard of my car, let the music play through my stereo while magical turn-by-turn directions danced across the screen, all the while being charged by my car’s battery. Sorry, not gonna happen.

OK, here’s what I want out of a non-phone iPod:

• iPod Touch screen and interface
• 160 Gigs of Storage on a Hard Drive
• GPS with a cool Application
• Open platform for Third Party Apps
• Bluetooth that will connect to my Cell Phone
• Better Browser
• Skype

Now, listen to me Steve, roll up the sleeves on that mock-T and get to work on building me something usefull. When you’re done, I just might genuflect and kiss your ring. Until then, don’t schedule another one of your useless Dash-My-Hopes-Again dog and pony shows.

See my previous article on Why Unlocking the iPhone is Pointless

Update: I guess Scoble agrees with me, Check out his Open Letter to Steve Jobs.

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